You are watching: Wolf blitzer white house correspondents dinner
You deserve to read Wilmore’s epic tranmanuscript of shade below, however below are the 10 finest lines, including what he sassist to Don Lemon to make the CNN anchor give him the finger.
1. First order of business: Taking down Fox News.
“Well, welconcerned ‘Negro Night’ here at the Washington Hilton, or as Fox News will report, ‘Two thugs disrupt elegant dinner in D.C.’”
Later he trashed them for pushing the inane “Beyconé hates cops” narrative after her Super Bowl performance, and also currently the Beyhive could be coming for Megyn Kelly.
“I think Fox News secretly likes Beyoncé, though. They simply recalled ‘The Kelly File,’ ‘Becky through the great hair.’”
2. Putting smug network news on alert through 2 words he doesn’t even say aloud: Brian Williams.
“I am a babsence man that reput a white male that pretfinished to be a TV newscaster. So, yeah, in that method Lester Holt and also I have a lot in prevalent.”
3. CNN did not obtain off lightly last night, either.
“Speaking of drones, just how is Wolf Blitzer still on television? Ask a follow-up question. Hey, Wolf, I’m all set to project tonight’s winner: Anyone that isn’t watching ‘The Situation Room.’”
“You understand, I need to say some of America’s best black journalists are below tonight. Don Lemon’s below, as well. Hey, Don, how’s it going? Alleged journalist Don Lemon, everybody.”
Watch this on a loop, it’s mesmerizing (they made up at the after-party, apparently — Don Lemon is nothing if not in possession of a finely-tuned sense of humor about himself)
4. In Wilmore’s hands, even a de rigueur gag around just how the president has actually aged over 8 years turns right into a multi-layered joke around race.
See more: What Can A Drop Of Liquid Mercury Be Described As? Elements Compounds And Mixtures Flashcards
“Your hair is so white, it tried to punch me at a Trump rally. President’s hair is so white it keeps saying ‘all resides matter.’”
5. Speaking of “all lives matter,” Wileven more will certainly not let the room forget he is a babsence guy roasting them in honor of a black man finishing two terms as president and also it is nopoint short of amazing.
“Oh, by the method, you men, Black Lives Matter is right here tonight. I’m simply kidding. Relax, white civilization, they’re not here. It’s simply a joke. Just relax, just relax.”
6. Melissa Harris-Perry’s reaction to this little bit around MSNBC and also race is everything:
“MSNBC — MSNBC right here tonight? No? Which actually currently means ‘Missing a Significant Number of Black Correspondents.’ Am I wrong? They favor fired Melissa Harris-Perry, they canceled Happiness Reid, they booted Touré. I heard they put Chris Hayes on probation because they assumed he was related to Isaac Hayes. That’s wrong. MSNBC got rid of so many kind of black world I thought Boko Haram was running that network-related.”
7. Here’s a two-fer on Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton:
“I am confused with Bernie’s stance on firearms. He appears to be anti-gun all over except Vermont. Bernie doesn’t treatment who gets a gun in Vermont. (*whispers*) Tbelow are no babsence people in Vermont.
“I need to provide you credit though, Bernie, you are trying difficult to acquire the babsence vote. I think it’s excellent. Bernie’s been hanging about with rapper Killer Mike. Or as Hillary Clinton calls him, Super Predator Mike.”
8. And of course, the oarray elephant in the room, reminding everyone in attendance that next year they can have to endure a “good-natured” Donald Trump roast:
“I am not surprised Donald Trump is happening to America because I watch movies, I perform. And eexceptionally time there’s a black president, somepoint always pertains to ruin the earth.”
9. Jokes on Obama contained shade over drone warfare and also broken promises:
“I just gained a note from the president saying that if you desire one more drink, you should order it currently bereason the bar will certainly be cshedding down. Of course, he said the exact same point about Guantanamo, so you have at leastern another eight years.”
10. But it’s his last line that everyone’s talking about:
“When I was a son, I resided in a nation where world couldn’t accept a black quarterearlier. Now think around that. A babsence man was thought by his mere shade not good sufficient to lead a footround team — and also currently, to live in your time, Mr. President, when a babsence guy deserve to lead the entire totally free civilization. Words alone carry out me no justice."
"So, Mr. President, if I’m going to keep it 100: Yo, Barry, you did it, my n***a. You did it.”
Watch the whole collection, and also then go check out Damon Young on why that moment was “height white tears.”