"This is a room complete of my wife and I"s incredibly incredibly excellent friends."-- Rusmarket Crowe as Nicholas Hostetler, Mayor of New York City in Broken City (2013)The joint possessive "my wife and also I"s" sounds incorrect to me, yet it additionally sounds quite tempting and difficult to fix! Due to the fact that the phrase complies with "of," it would certainly seem that "I" (subjective case) have to be adjusted to "me" (objective case). But, then, "my wife and also I"s" can be reput by "our," and also it is hard for me to say whether the situation of "our" is subjective or objective (it appears to me to be neither) — not to cite, "my wife and also me"s" sounds also worse to me than "my wife and I"s"! Which of the following is (are) correct? My vote is for (f) or (g). Phrases (a)–(c) seem incorrect to me, and (d) and also (e) seem to expush a different interpretation altogether!
a) a room full of my wife and also I"s
friendsb) a room complete of I and my wife"s friendsc) a room complete of my wife and me"s friendsd) a room complete of me and my wife"s friendse) a room full of my wife and also my friendsf) a room complete of my and my wife"s friendsg) a room complete of my wife"s and my friends
Thank you. grammarcrazedMember
a)a room complete of my wife and I"s friends (type of poetic)b) a room full of I and also my wife"s friends ( wrongc) a room full of my wife and me"s friends ( wrong)d) a room complete of me and also my wife"s friends ( wrong)e)a room full of my wife and also my friends ( wrong)f) a room complete of my and also my wife"s friends ( OK)g)a room full of my wife"s and also my friends ( OK)right here are my suggestions:a) a room complete of my wife’s friends and mine.b) a room complete of mine and also my wife"s friends.c) a room filled through friends of mine and also my wife’s.

You are watching: Wife and i or wife and me

G gunterMember
Thank you, Grammarcrazed.Your option to use the "absolute possessive" mine is a smart one.
here are my suggestions:a) a room complete of my wife’s friends and also mine.b) a room complete of mine and also my wife"s friends.c) a room filled via friends of mine and also my wife’s.
I prefer the means each of those sound. Your phrases (a) and also (c) are certainly correct. Your (b) is a bit unexplained, in that mine and various other absolute possessives (yours, theirs, hers) are generally just offered after the object of possession has actually been defined (i.e., stated). In your (b), the reader does not know that "mine" refers to "my friends" once he reads "mine"; he learns that later on, after he has actually review "and my wife"s friends." But I think that can be thought about a legitimate and harmless create of cataphoric recommendation.My just actual issue around your (a), (b), and (c) is whether they expush sepaprice or joint possession, or whether they are ambiguous. Regardless of the absence of warmth (to put it mildly) in between Mayor Hostetler and also his wife, I believe that he is trying to express joint possession of friends in his sentence — to please his constituency! He does not want to say that the room is complete of two separate sets of friends: his friends and his wife"s friends (friends of hers and also friends of mine). Rather, he desires to say that the room is full of one set of friends: friends possessed by him and also his wife together (friends of ours).I obtain the sense of joint possession from my (f) and (g), yet I"m not certain that I get the same sense from your (a), (b), and (c). At the same time, I execute think that your (a), (b), and (c) sound much better than my (f) and also (g)! I wonder if others have a take on this. Thanks again for your comments, Grammarcrazed.
How about these: a room complete of my wife’s friends and those of mine.It will certainly be an alliance between 2 excellent powers, , those of your human being and those of mine.
G gunterMember
a room complete of my wife’s friends and also those of mine.
Thanks aget, Grammarcrazed. I certainly think that phrase expresses separate possession of friends: a room full of her friends and my friends.For joint possession, what do we think of this one? I"m taking a brand-new method this time. This is the best spliced variation of "a room complete of our friends" / "a room full of friends of ours" that I can come up via without utilizing an extra word favor "joint":a room full of friends of me and also my wife"s."This is a room complete of very incredibly excellent friends of me and also my wife"s." If Russell Crowe had actually said that instead, would audiences have noticed it in a negative method, or mightn"t the expression have slipped into their ears as a item of indisputably good English? David, ModeratorModerator
I check out what you"re saying, Günter. A phrase likefriends of me and my wife"sseems to be related to a expression likeJohn and Bill"s dogswhich appears to be convertible todogs of John and also Bill"seach phrase expushing joint possession. Having currently investigated the matter, I view that that is not necessarily the situation. Quirk et al. say that a phrase likeJohn and Mary"s children (13.72)does indeed express joint possession. However, they additionally say that it is "characteristic of informal speech," and that its formal tantamount is the following:the kids of John and also Mary (ibid.)where we uncover, notably, the -s ending missing. If we did ameans with the -s ending, we would be obliged to follow the so-called polite order of pronouns. Our expression would become:(?) friends of my wife and mewhich would not only sound strange but would certainly have freakish results. For consider: Which of these sounds better?That"s my wife and I"s car.(?) That"s the auto of my wife and also me.The choice seems pretty clear! Happily, tbelow does seem to be a way of justifying the last construction. First, Quirk et al. execute cite the construction straight, in a footnote on web page 965. It seems to be a mixed bag. Sometimes it"s acceptable, and also periodically it isn"t. Here are their examples. Only the initially is taken into consideration acceptable by them:you and your husband"s financial institution account(?) they and their friends" surprise(?) John and also her bookIt seems to me that "my wife and I"s friends" is a legitimate usage of the construction. If you think about it, I"m sure you"ll realize that you"ve supplied that kind of construction many times and do indeed discover it quite herbal, despite your grammatical scruples. One last point: It is reasonable to say that "my wife and also I"s friends" does not actually contain an instance of I"s, which appears to have been freaking you out. The expression might instead be analyzed as a "team genitive," likethe teacher of music"s room (17.119)a guy of distinction"s affect (ibid.)an hour and a half"s discussion (ibid.)a week or so"s sunshine (ibid)wbelow the -s finishing inflects, not the word to which it is attached, however the whole phrase to which it is attached. So, be a grammatical gladiator! Go forth and also, favor Russell Crowe, usage "my wife and also I"s" — if, that is, you be married.
I guess we do not agree on this topic. I really delighted in the discussion, though.

See more: Why Does My Engine Oil Smell Like Gas, Why Does My Oil Smell Like Gas

I favor "friends of my wife and of mine." Or, ignoring the other-person-first deferential convention, "friends of mine and of my wife".