Dear Amy:I have a guy friend with whom I have had a platonic partnership for a few years.

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We are in our 50s and hang out a couple of times a month.

I have actually always well-known he was Christian and exceptionally affiliated in his church. But last week when we were stating which movie to go to, he said he wouldn"t go to see specific movies because either the character played a gay man or the actor was gay in real life.

After 2 years of friendship this is the first time this has actually come up, but what he shelp bothered me. I am extremely open-minded and also accepting.

He didn"t say hateful or suppose points. Just that he didn"t approve of that kind of lifestyle and wouldn"t support those actors. It might not even come up aacquire.


I am now questioning our friendship, yet have to I let this impact me? — Wondering Friend

Dear Friend: You seem to associate being a Christian through not accepting gay people; this lack of acceptance is so un-Christian that this could be a mistaken presumption on your component. Although some Christian teams execute discriminate versus gay human being, some civilization are simply free-floating deniers and haters-without-portfolio. Of course this viewsuggest affects you, bereason it comes from someone you respect — not "letting it" influence you probably isn"t an choice.


Homosexuality is not a "lifestyle" any even more than heterosexuality is. You say your friend"s stance bothers you and so in the name of friendship you should expush yourself — simply as your frifinish expressed himself. It is up to you whether to proceed to accept this friendship despite this man"s prejudice; it is absolutely within an open-minded person"s power and also abilities to accept a variety of world that hold divergent views. This is where you and also your friend are various, and also if you continue to be in this friendship — who knows — you may affect him to open his mind and heart.

Dear Amy: I"m about to move to San Francisco from Brooklyn via my boyfrifinish of 3 years.

I have actually welcomed a task market and will most likely be beginning almost instantly after we relocate to the West Coast.

The day I accepted the sell my boyfriend asked if it would be OK if he went on a monthlong hike through his sister and also his finest frifinish. This hike would take place after I had actually started my job.

I felt this was unfair because he waited to bring it up until after I had actually accepted the position and also now didn"t have the alternative of going with them. I acquired upcollection through him, but ultimately suggested we do a shorter hike prior to my brand-new project began. He says that I am not letting him think about life alternatives, however I feel prefer he"s not considering me. How do we find a middle ground wright here we can both be happy? — Unhappy

Dear Unhappy: The middle ground you look for is for you to realize that you don"t control your boyfrifinish. That"s the path to happiness for both of you.

If he is facing a cross-nation relocate to live through you and have the right to afford to take a monthlengthy hike prior to beginning his brand-new life, then he have to do it. Wouldn"t you want to carry out the exact same, if you could?

It"s not approximately you to "allow" him to take this expedition. Ideally, couples discuss significant decisions before making them (presumably you disputed your task chance before agreeing to it), yet successful couples likewise take an expansive see of one another"s methods and encourage them to go for it.


Dear Amy: You were pretty hard on the woman that signed her letter "Just a Girl Doing Her Job," that described her discomfort at running into coworkers exterior of work-related.

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She can be introverted and also these encounters might be extremely difficult for her. — Introverted

Dear Introverted: Rereading this letter, I do not check out signs of introvariation — simply a young woman who does not desire to be bothered communicating with her coemployees. Her statement that she simply wasn"t interested in their resides didn"t sound favor she is introverted. To me she appeared boring — and rude.