It’s my favorite time of year as we anticipate the holidays and start off via the ideal one- Thanksproviding.

You are watching: It is not happy people who are thankful it is thankful people who are happy

It’s a time to gather via loved ones, enjoy the bounty of the earth and open up our hearts to all the gifts we have been given!

Developing an attitude and also practice of gratitude has actually been such an important component of my own healing journey and likewise a critical component of my work with people and also couples. Being able to focus on the excellent in our people and also in each other changes every little thing.

Studies present we are happier, healthier (less heart illness, tension related disorders) and heartier (we actually live longer) and also are more long lasting when we focus on the plusses not the negatives in life.

But here’s the real kicker:


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So if we endure so many type of benefits from a positive outlook then…

Why is it so difficult to construct one??

We are actually hardwired to see the negative. Its’ a survival mechanism.

In the dark eras we had to be searching for any type of and also all risks that might be life threatening. Form a survival perspective, the positive registers in an extra neutral means than the negative.

But here’s the great news:

We deserve to train our brain to check out the positive.


Sue Lundquist of The Gratitude Cafe invited my on a panel on gratitude. Listen in to the entirety conversation right here by clicking on the play arrow below. And to hear even more be certain head over and subscribe to her show.


A Very Special Gratitude Panel

The Gratitude Cafe

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What we recognize from brain science is that whatever before we emphasis on and also attract our attention to impacts our mood, our actions and even what happens to us.

Gratitude is a exercise that can be cultivated.

Modern science has shown what many kind of have prstove over the years–it is excellent to give many thanks. It is a healing balm. In his book, Authentic Delight, Martin Seligmale defines a examine he conducted where he taught sevecount depressed patients to create dvery own one point each day they were grateful for. Within 15 days, 94% of them reported feeling much better.

One of my favorite quotes from my guru and mentor Dr. Brené Brvery own is this…

“Comparikid is the thief of joy”-Dr. Brené Brown

I love that!

I think the oppowebsite of gratitude is envy. When I begin dvery own that course of reasoning everyone else’s life looks better than mine (or I don’t have actually all I dreamed or hoped for) I remind myself of all the excellent in my people and also focus there.

As you have the right to watch, I didn’t start off happy here. Envy is a seed of unhappiness.

Instead, I made a decision to be thankful so I can get to happiness.

Cultivating Your Gratitude

Whether its’ a daily exercise you begin or finish your day through, or if it’s an “in the moment” kind of mindset adjustment, make your gratitude list wide and also differed. Try to come up with as many type of points as you deserve to to be thankful for.

As you are making your list, take a moment to really savor each item. Really emphasis on the presents that specific item brings right into your life. So if it’s family members you are grateful for, take time to remember a particularly fun or loving suffer you had with each member. Get in touch through the feelings and take the time to relive the moment.

Offering gratitude to others is another way to “live right into this effective practice.

Gratitude comes in many kind of forms and sizes:

It have the right to be as little as a smile given to the keep clerkIt have the right to be a generous pointer given to the newspaper boyIt deserve to be as big as a give given to assist human being hunger or lug clean water to a tiny villageIt can come in a note to a teacher or a warmth meal for a friend

Gratitude wells up as a thankful surge when we remember our blessings and we delight in our families and our friendships and also work-related that is systematic.

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My hope for you this holiday is that your list is long and deep and also wide- and also that your cup runs over in gratitude for what you are provided so you have the right to share that love through the world.