No matter what age you are, discovering that one of your parents has been unfaithful to the other is devastating news to hear, and unfortunately, it is all too common, with about 25 percent of men and 10 to 15 percent of women admitting to being unfaithful to their partners during their marriage. It forces your emotions into a tumult and sometimes makes you face aspects of life before you are ready. When confronted with a parent"s infidelity, you will likely feel lost and out of control. In this article, we"ll give you some ways that you can cope with this issue.

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4 Questions and Answers

Understanding Why People Cheat: Facts About Infidelity


In dealing with your parent"s infidelity, it may be helpful to learn the reasons behind most incidents of cheating. However, please understand that human behavior is as complex and varied as humans are themselves, and the general concepts we discuss here may not always reflect the nature of your parent"s individual situation.

Most people don"t plan to be unfaithful
Take comfort in the fact that your parent probably didn"t plan on having an affair. Affairs happen when there is a confluence of opportunity, sexual desire, and unmet need.
Cheating rarely happens without an opportunity. Opportunities for cheating present themselves when the risk of getting caught is absent or very slight.Examples of such opportunities include trips away from home and frequently spending time alone with someone other than your spouse.
There has to be a level of sexual attraction there. If it is a mutual attraction, then the risk for cheating is greater, and in fact, being around someone who finds them sexually attractive may spark a reciprocal attraction since it feels good to be desired by someone else.

Dealing with Your Emotions


When you find out that one of your parents is cheating on the other, it can feel like your whole world is crumbling. Common emotions during such a time include anger, feeling betrayed, disappointment, confusion, guilt, and shame. Here are some ways to cope with the emotional unrest:

Dealing with your Relationship with Your Parents


To be sure, your relationship with the parent who cheated will suffer after their infidelity has been revealed. How you treat them going forward depends in large part what kind of relationship you had with them prior to their infidelity. Remember, although it may feel like they"ve betrayed you as well as your other parent, the only relationship that they have betrayed is their marital one.

Remain neutral
Although it is hard not to, avoid picking sides. There may be other factors about which you are not aware, and it is not your place to act as the mediator between your parents. Let them sort out their marital issues themselves.
Don"t tell the other parent about the cheating. They may already know, and even if they don"t, it is not up to you to reveal the other parent"s secrets.
Don"t allow your parents to use you against each other. Don"t involve yourself in he said/she said arguments or cover for one parent with the other.

Questions and Answers

Can a child completely heal from his parent s affair if both of his parents have stayed together and started working on their marriage once again?

I"m afraid my children may get affected by their mom"s affair if it went in the open , even though their mom and I have started working on our marriage and are creating a healthy atmosphere at home.. Mostly I"m concerned about shame cause it"s a toxic feeling and how to spare my kids from the negative emotions.. Thanks. Toxic Shame effect on kid, meaning can all these emotions be overcame so that my kids will have a positive attitude in life QnA. This section is not written yet. Want to join in? Click EDIT to write this answer.

How can I live with continuous cheating when there are children involved?

Parent can"t quit cheating since he has kids with the other partner. How can I live with it continuously? The cheating parent has children from the lover, so he can"t leave. Money that should be going into my family is going there. He doesn"t put us first QnA. This section is not written yet. Want to join in? Click EDIT to write this answer.

Shall I leave my home along with my mother and younger brother or stay here only?

My father was cheating on my mother since past 7 months. I came to know this a few days back and so, I told my mother all about it. She is too disheartened. Though I told both of them to move on along with myself, none of us are able to do so. I have started hating my dad. I don"t even like watching him and then staying in the same house with him feels terrible. All this has ruined my studies completely. This was the time I wished to focus the most. Kindly help. Please. Tell me what shall I do now. Leave my dad or stay with him and how should I focus on my studies. I don"t want to ruin my career so please, help. I don"t get shall I live in the same home or not? Along with it, I am tensed about my studies too. I have tried: I"ve tried coming out of it and have asked everyone to move on. But it isn"t possible for me. I think it was caused by: It is not easy for me to let go of all the things. QnA. This section is not written yet. Want to join in? Click EDIT to write this answer.

How can we forgive them? What if we plan not to? And what if they constantly lie?

My mother cheated and they put us (kids) in the middle. It wasn"t fun because because we were told to never trust my mother and her side of the family. y mother always lies and we can never trust her. She"s constantly putting pressure on my dad which he wasn"t the one who cheated but she worries about everyone else except her. She believes she did nothing wrong and won"t apologize or accept the fact that she ruined it. My mother wasn"t happy(for some reason), but she did have everything. She had a big house, five kids, her dream car, beautiful animals, and somehow she decided to leave it all for a guy. Later the guy cheated on her and did I mention that my mother got two surgeries for the guy just to look good for him. He was just using her for her green card, but somehow she says it wasn"t her fault. When it was!! She decided to trust a guy and leave her five kids alone while she would travel to Costa Rica. Why can"t we not forgive them? And why do we need to not keep anger inside. I have tried: I"ve tried to talk to her about it but she refuses and lies. I think it was caused by: I think it was herself. I think she did this and it was her own doing not because of an opportunity. QnA. This section is not written yet. Want to join in? Click EDIT to write this answer.

Why do the cheat?...don"t they think about how it will affect their children?

I"m feeling very depressed and suicidal at the same time that how could my mother do it and is still doing...I just feel my life is over and this world is hell. After seeing your article even I don"t get it because when one time she did it she is accepting and saying that I accept I was wrong...but even now also she"s cheating and don"t accept that though now my parents live separately in same house but even after knowing that they live separately I couldn"t tolerate her cheating QnA. This section is not written yet. Want to join in? Click EDIT to write this answer.

How can I behave well ,with my cheated mom?please give some solution to how I deal with it?

My mom is having a extra marital affair since 8 years,and I know about it,and we had fight on that for many times.I think that my father also know about it,but he act like he didn"t know anything about it.So,the behaviour of my mom is totally disturbed my mental health,I keep trying to forget it ,but I can"t.i am confused about that also my mom don"t stop to love myself but I don"t understand then why she is cheated us?please help me out. My situation is different cause my mother is not stop loving us,if she is cheated us.She doing her duty as a parents,so it"s so difficult to find out how to behave with her . QnA. This section is not written yet. Want to join in? Click EDIT to write this answer.

My mom might be cheating on my dad what am I suppose to do?

I think my mom been cheating on my dad, she flirts with a guy on a phone call. She beens on Facebook for hours talking to someone, I don"t know what to do thinking that she might makes me angry and dissapointed in here what am I suppose to do? QnA. This section is not written yet. Want to join in? Click EDIT to write this answer.

Why is my mom being like this I was crying at school I couldn"t do anything?

I want to know at my dad she acts like nothing I am crying every time because of her I love my dad I could not live him for the world I have some pills I want to reveal her secret and die QnA. This section is not written yet. Want to join in? Click EDIT to write this answer.

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