I am in a really poor area. I have been trying my ideal to better myself, yet it appears to just be doing so much. I got a therapist, and she thinks I have body dysmorphic disorder. We have actually been doing points to deal with it, but it doesn’t seem to be going away. I don’t understand what to execute. Being hyperconcentrated on my appearance is emotionally exhausting and exceptionally painful, however I can’t speak.
You are watching: I don t know how much more i can take
I am also losing my friends. I am not as social as I used to be. I have actually constantly been shy, but newly I have come to be a really closed off perboy. I don’t feel comfortable being myself approximately my friends or roughly anyone (other than my dear boyfrifinish that I carry out not know where I would be without him in my life). I am constantly battling this horrible mental condition I am in. But when I ultimately go out and also view my friends, I have actually nothing to offer or say. I have shed the old personality I supplied to have. I offered to be incredibly positive, funny, outgoing, and so on My friends and I were very close, yet currently we aren’t bereason I have to hide that I really am now. I even need to hide my true self from my cousin (that provided to be the perboy I told everything to) because her perspective is very toxic and exacerbates my psychological concerns.
I just feel extremely alone. I watch human being roughly me laughing and having actually fun through their friends, but I am not choose that anymore. I also feel that I annoy my boyfrifinish. I am always crying around my life or talking about just how much pain I am going with and also the things that have actually hurt me. I feel like he doesn’t want to be around it anyeven more, yet I can’t speak. It’s how I’m feeling in the minute and also pretfinishing to be happy is exhausting. I simply don’t understand what to execute. I cry eincredibly day. I never before feel okay anymore. How can I obtain over this?
I simply counted the number of threads you started here, given that the initially on December 11, 2017, a little bit over 2 years ago: fifty seven threads.
Here are some of the titles of your threads that were around your boyfriend, in order of dates submitted: Help!!! My boyfriend chosen one more girl while dating me??/ How have the right to I get him to readjust more?/ My boyfriend’s mom talked badly on me?/ Boyfrifinish left, life still sucks, I am still stupid, Do I leave him?/ Boyfrifinish broke up with me after saying he will certainly change/ I hate my boyfriend’s sister/ My boyfriend (ex) is trying to damage my life/ I ultimately broke up with my boyfriend and am uncertain of exactly how I feel.
Here are some of the titles of your threads that are about your brother: My little brvarious other shed all of his friends/ My brvarious other is hated by my whole town/ I’m scared for my 15 year old brother/ I am worried for my brother’s life.
Several of the threads around your cousin: My cousin is the the majority of insecure girl that I know/ My cousin is so mean to me/ My cousin tells me I require a nose project all the time/ Eexceptionally time I talk to my cousin I end up depressed/ My toxic cousin.
Some of your threads about friends: My finest frifinish hooked up through my various other ideal friend’s boyfriend/How have the right to I have friends again?/ How can I readjust the partnership, have to I reunite through my old friend/ I require some assist making friends/ Trying to discover my friends, niche/Losing my excellent man friend/ I got to out to an old friend that ignored me/How execute I make friends?
A few of your threads around your physical looks (and also smell): I am worn down of trying to be pretty however that’s all I want in life/ I simply want to be beautiful/ I photoshopped a picture of my body on Instagram/ I am worn down of women being judged by their looks/ A son told me I look prefer a witch, does this suppose I’m ugly? Do I smell bad?
Some of your threads about exactly how you feel: Really perplexed about myself/ I feel favor I must depend on somebody/ Is there somepoint wrong with me? Starting to realize sources of my social anxiety/ I’m so heart damaged I want to die, I feel ugly/ Why don’t my teachers notification me/ I require assist managing my diet and exercise in college/ I miss out on my life 4 years ago/ Hurt and confused/ I am so lonely/ I’m jealous, insecure, and also truly sad/ Were these girls trying to ne mean to me? Why don’t guys seek me? My teacher said I’m lazy/ I don’t recognize just how much more I deserve to take.
In your a lot of recent thcheck out, the one I am replying to now, you pointed out being “in a really bad place”, seeing a therapist who thinks you experience from body dysmorphic disorder, you being indeed hyper focused on your appearance, losing your friends, being closed off, hiding that you really are from friends and also from your cousin whose “perspective is extremely toxic and exacerbates my mental issues”, feeling “very alone”, “constantly crying about my life.. around just how much pain I am going via.. I cry eexceptionally day”, that you “can’t stop” hyper concentrating on your appearance and you “can’t stop” complaining to your boyfriend, that “pretending to be happy is exhausting”, and you asked: “How can I gain over this?”
One of your 57 threads, August 1, 2018, a year and also 5 months earlier, is titled: “I realized somepoint that really adjusted everything for me”. In it you wrote: “My dad .. is constantly working.. My mommy is house all the time but she deals with.. depression and stress.. neither of my parental fees have actually been around to overview me or my siblings. I always knew this however didn’t think it was a huge deal… I’ve always let my boyfrifinish walk over me and also never had the stamina to break up via him.. I’ve been told I have actually no personality.. I just go via the flow when with most civilization. I am constantly uncertain of myself and never before take charge.. I feel so fearful and also stressed all the moment.. I am still a severe introvert and also am very aloof in a lot of social situations”.
My input to you, Kate, this Jan 3, 2020 morning:
1. Reads to me that you must end all contact via your cousin, you consistently explained her as toxic to you, you ending up depressed eexceptionally time you talk to her, and also you mentioned below on your most current thcheck out as toxic still. It is therefore a no brainer to me that you should finish all call via her.
2. As I said to you prior to, carry out all that you can to direct your younger brvarious other towards skilled aid concerning his issues, consisting of his drug abuse. If you haven’t done so already, go to his school’s counselor and talk to him or her around your involves for your brvarious other health and safety.
3. Continue to see a therapist and share through her what you common on your threads, particularly the August 1 thcheck out.
4. Regarding my participation in your future threads: to be possibly useful to you, it is not reliable that I .. sort of multi job as I respond to your many, many type of threads, a lot of regularly receiving either no reply, or a one line reply from you. Therefore, any and also all future interaction between me and you will occur on this threview and on no various other.
You are welinvolved respond to this article, or not, and also you are welcome to begin as many brand-new threads as you would favor later. I hope that other members will certainly respond to your future threads.
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Regarding a feasible interaction between you and also me, it is to be done right here. If you choose this choice, please let me understand what you think about the content of this short article to you.