I’ve always been that girl. In high school I sat in the front, did all my homework, kbrand-new the answer to eextremely question, was friends via my teacher and also gained all A’s, all the moment. I assumed college would certainly be no various. Boy was that a mistake. A slight turn of my professor’s head in my direction evokes some weird anticipation for acknowledgement. Oftentimes I go unnoticed, a form of rejection that’s sindicate ineffable. However before, after a lifetime of kissing ass, I’ve used my field of expertise to my advantage and found the solution to the suck-up setago. So take out a pen, you’re going to want to create these tips dvery own.

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Say “Thank You” once you leave class

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Now, you’re starting to think this is a joke. How the h-e-double hocvital sticks could saying “give thanks to you” make your professor remember you when tbelow are 200 youngsters piling out the door like a herd of cattle? Well, I regret to increate you that, unlike many of your high college teachers, your college professors are masterminds. They’re choose moms; they understand whatever. So also a brief “thank you” leaves a lingering photo of that you are. Everyone likes to be appreciated and college professors are no various. The essential is to give many thanks in a subtle fashion without the attributes of the typical “I’m thanking you bereason I desire an ‘A.’” Manners go a lengthy way.

Email them relevant things

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The likelihood of you sending your professor a random post is slimmer than the likelihood that you’ll be avoiding those tasty Twinkies tonight. However before, if you really want to earn some rapid brownie points, Google a relevant article, read it, create a message, sfinish it and also win teacher tokens. Yes, it’s really that basic. Just don’t go sfinishing your chem professor an post around Shakespeare, unless, of course, Shakespeare really tickles their fancy.

Placed electronics away

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Did I really just ask you to throw your phone in your bag and also leave your computer system in your dorm? Call me a monster yet this method of brown-nosing is quite reliable. Without distractions, you’re actually able to focus on your professor, proving your interest (maybe) in the topic at hand. If your teacher sees you looking right into her eyes rather than at a glowing computer system display screen, she is bound to acunderstanding your attentiveness.


Ask systematic questions

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Well, no shit! Truthcompletely, you’d be surprised. I would cross “Can I usage the bathroom?,” “When is class over?” and also even the idiotic (yet famous) “Is this crucial material?” off the list. Instead, ask concerns around material you’ve familiarized via ahead of time. I imply timing your inquiries just ideal. If someone via a lesser question just piped up in course, jump in through your brilliant thought. And remember, don’t ask concerns eextremely class; you don’t desire to be as well obvious.

Fake Interest

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Ever “faked it?” Well, here’s your opportunity to fake it via A LOT less effort. In this instance, all you have to carry out is look interested. Sleeping, drooling, head-bobbing or spilling your Starbucks on your neighbor when you jerk yourself out of REM sleep are surefire means to obtain the hairy eyeball from your professor. Flash a quick smile as soon as the professor glances your method. He won’t know that smile was actually you straining to suppush an eruption of gas at any minute.

Be a bobblehead

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As I’ve developed into a remarkable suck-up, I’ve perfected the craft, better yet, the art of “the bobblehead.” I’m not arguing you glue your lashes to your lids and also act favor you have a serious neck tick. I’m simply proposing that you keep your bbest eyes on the prize (your professor) and sometimes nod your head to agree or present that you understand. This is, by far, the greatest advice I can provide, truly worthy of its own chapter in the Holy bible.

Keep in mind that these are my holy, the majority of sacred keys. Now that I have actually so graciously bestowed them upon you, you have to swear to never abusage them or expose them. You can attempt to take on these sucking-up skills, but keep in mind, your bobblehead will simply never before compare to mine. Sucks to suck (pounds of pun intended).

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Filed Under: Academics

About Sara Malinow

Sara is a freshguy broadactors journalism major at the College of Maryland also. Her habits include cheating on healthy eating, self-effacement, and also being real. She specifies herself by heavy doses of grit and also wit, qualities she really hopes to take complete benefit of as the future Ellen DeGeneres-Chelsea Handler combo.