1. Cause a comMotion
Next time you’re at Motion, don’t print your event ticket and leave home with just 20 per cent battery on your phone. Nothing says living life on the edge like potential rejection and a trek back home from the wavy warehouse in the middle of nowhere.
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If my phone dies, hopefully my garms will get me in
2. Refuse to read
Go to a seminar without doing the reading and make eye contact with your tutor as much as possible. Your lack of knowledge will trigger a fear-induced high second to none.
Bore me later Blackboard
3. Boldly Bluetac everything you own to the walls
Bluetac where no one has bluetacked before, i.e anything and everything. Your landlord will probably be so jealous of your exhilarating lifestyle they may even fine you.
4. Dodge your deliveries
When ordering things online, don’t specify what flat/floor/house number you live in. That way you’ll have no idea when, or if, your parcel will arrive.
5. Deceive the Domino’s people
The next time a night out on the Triangle turns you into a hungover and regretful mess, order a Domino’s and give them a fake name. It will never fail to get your vodka-wounded heart pumping.
They don’t domi-know my name is actually Rachel
6. Hot-box your room in the most hazardous ways possible
If you already dare to smoke in your room, next time cover your smoke alarm with tights rather than socks for some extra suspense.
7. Cultivate mystique with your emails
Leave the subject line blank on all your emails. Your account will question your daring decision but you click that “Send anyway” button then sit back, relax and feel truly alive.
8. No change in your pocket, no change in your underwear
Always spend your change so when it comes to doing your laundry, its a gamble whether you’ll have the right coins or not.
9. Re-create Bunker in your room by staying in bed
Once you’ve finally realised Bunker is shit (yes, I’m looking at you Stoke Bishop), choose to spend your Monday nights in your own BED with your duvet upside down so the buttons are by your face. The adrenaline rush will soon have you sweating as much as Bunker’s walls.
10. Aggravate the ASS librarians
Never look when your library books are due, just guess. Then when you feel its time to let someone else read them, return them to a Science library as a gentle reminder that the Arts are equally important.
See more: Why Am I Afraid To Tell You Who I Am? I Afraid To Tell You Who I Am?
11. Always pull out too quickly
No, not what you think kids – pull out your memory stick without clicking eject for that real sense of rebellion.
Fraser Goodland was last seen on Saturday and is believed to have left his student house on Fishponds Road on Sunday afternoon
‘I love Ibiza and I should be there at a festival this year which didn’t take place; I hope to be there next year’
They describe themselves as ‘literally just a normal person… with extra good chat’