Can you not pass in front of a mirror without glancing at your image? David J. Liebermale, specialist on huguy behaviour and also doctor in psychology, explains.

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“I am not obsessed through my appearance, yet I can’t pass in front of a mirror without glancing at my reflection. Sometimes, I look for a lengthy time in the mirror, often dissatisfied through what I check out tright here. It’s tough to say to myself that it’s me, as if it wasn’t me who I observed in the mirror. “

The reasons of this behaviour have the right to be misleading and are frequently misunderstood. In most of cases, it is not only a case of vanity. You look for your own reflection because it is your unique source of psychic food. Looking at yourself in the mirror feeds your ego. As, actually, you don’t provide yourself many worth, sometimes even no value at all, you attempt to be reassured by a “surface” worth. It is this worth of the mirror that, according to you, enables you to arouse respect and admiration of others. Furthermore, you can think that the “better” you are in the mirror – better-combed, better-dressed, better made-up (if you are a woman), the even more value you have and the even more respect you deserve. Consequently, if you have actually an ascollection, you offer it excessive importance.

A absence of self-respect is regularly analyzed by the feeling of having no physical existence. You have actually the impression that you lack substance and also then you deal with your reflection to feel reassured and tell yourself that you truly exist. You feel invisible because tbelow is an emptiness in you. You look at the mirror, however are inqualified of telling that this photo is you. That’s why, once you see a photo of you, you frequently say: ” this photo doesn’t look choose me. ”

As an outcome, you deserve to have obstacle in interpreting your own feelings and the mirror is for you an indicator of what you feel. When you are in a great mood, you look in the mirror to watch your smile, to verify that you are indeed in a great mood. It is bereason you should have your feelings proved by an external source.


It will be, doubtless, incredibly challenging and very uncomfortable at the beginning, bereason the majority of of world are not used to this sort of exercise. But it is exactly why it is worth the initiative. Remind yourselves: the more an exercise is challenging for you, the more it is a sign that you need it!

Make sure you emphasis on the inner qualities that note your difference compared to others and on things that we don’t necessarily see in a mirror. For example: “I have the majority of imagination”. “At work-related, I am excellent at identifying work and also meeting deadlines.” “My friends tell me that I organize super evenings.” ” I aided my neighbor a few days earlier.” “When I go jogging, I go a tiny farther eincredibly time. “Take all the time essential to identify these ten attributes, also if they seem insignificant to you – nothing have to be blamed, underapproximated or denigrated. Draw up a list as complete as possible to achieve a representative portrait of all your peculiarities.

Now that you have this list, hang it on the mirror of your bathroom – this way, eincredibly time you look in the mirror, you will certainly read what you prefer in you and provides your distinct. This exercise is wonderful, because it frequently reminds you of your genuine value – in specific once you feel incredibly breakable.

Approximately every month, update your list. Keep the qualities that you the majority of appreciate, however make an initiative to find new ones. Trust me, with time, this exercise becomes easier and also simpler. And it constantly reassures you that the individual that you are is an extremely alive humale being that doesn’t speak moving and also evolving.


If your mirror has actually end up being the unique source of emotional validation of your value, it is because you don’t feel at ease once you get signs of gratitude, congratulations and words of encouragement. Get rid of this embarrassment by simply learning to accept compliments, without trying to read between the lines, without asking what they hide, without minimizing them and also without protesting by saying that you don’t deserve them.

The following time someone tells you: ” you did a really excellent task by creating these boards for the meeting”, simply answer: “give thanks to you extremely much” and also not: ” say thanks to you, but it wasn’t much; if I had actually had actually more time, I could carry out it better!” Don’t make your interlocutors feel uncomfortable to present you their gratitude; provide them the pleacertain to compliment you.

If you are uncomfortable in both cases, meaning at making and also receiving compliments, learn to felicitate the initiatives of others, to provide not just to obtain, yet for the pleacertain that it offers you. Since offering brings pleacertain. Once you have actually this positive and also gratifying endure, you will certainly additionally know how to obtain through pleasure.

And if all of this appears inconceivable to you, if you can’t bear the principle of showing your gratitude and receiving the among others, then ask friends or acquaintances to quote two or three things that they most appreciate about you. (If you feel uncomfortable through it, sindicate tell them that it is an exercise implemented for a mission, an evaluation, a seminary, a training, and also so on…) It puts you in a instance wright here you receive compliments and, at the same time, it enables you to enrich your list of particular qualities!


If you have invested your life denying or muzzling your feelings, you should sheight and learn just how to forobtain it! And it is a liberating suffer – just choose it is to break a mirror! (Even if I perform not recommfinish you to carry out.)

Do you remember once you were a kid and you were playing through your brand-new toy and another boy involved take it from you? In my opinion, you kbrand-new very well what you felt! By flourishing up, we are taught that it is not excellent to strike our bit fellow who steals our favourite toy; that is true, of course. But, unfortunately, we also learn that “negative” feelings need to be banimelted and also we need to act as if they didn’t exist. As a result, we feel guilty of having them.

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Accepting your feelings implies accepting all your feelings, both the a lot of positive and also the a lot of negative. Eincredibly time an event aroprovides an emovement in you, allow yourself to feel it. If you view a sad movie at the cinema, let yourself cry – What execute you think that others do? If you think of somepoint funny at occupational, let yourself laugh. If somebody stays clear of you from expushing yourself, roar at yourself or strike the dashboard of your automobile through your fist till the emovement goes ameans. You have the right to release your true “I “just by clearly identifying and by accepting what takes location in you at some point, without condemning or judging yourself. And when you will certainly have the ability to live your feelings, you won’t must verify what you feel in the mirror anyeven more.