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June 10, 2011#104 - Nickelodeon Presents Don’t Just Sit There! Survival Guide (1989)

By Dan Kinem

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There are the timeless Nickelodeon mirrors that everyone remembers for being nostalgic and also fun, favor Wild and Crazy Kids and also Clarissa Explains It All, and then there are the reflects that should have actually never before went beyond someone’s sick and also sadistic dream. Don’t Just Sit There falls under the latter. The best example I can give to capture the idiocy of this video is: a regional church in the 80s hires a bunch of hip teens to give fun pointers to their Sunday school team. That’s about exactly how lame this is. Normally it’s a talk display combined through “comedy” perdeveloped by Micvital Mousage Club rejects. This certain VHS release (the just release the show ever received), but, is a house video exclusive survival guide. It complies with a similar format, however has no musical guest and is mainly focused on offering survival pointers. There need to have been an accompanying prerequiwebsite tape that taught me just how to endure the actual video.

You are watching: Don t just sit there nickelodeon

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The in its entirety plot focuses on a team of kids giving easy-to-follow tips on exactly how to survive school, your social life, and house. It fails to carry out any of these three points, but, and also most likely destroyed anyone who watched this’s life.

There’s a home band featured, Out of Order, that sometimes play songs to go along with what’s around to take place on display. Somehow they regulated to be some of the worst “rock” music I’ve ever before heard, yet likewise the ideal component of the entirety video. Mostly as a result of the fact that if you reduced each of their perfectly-shaped mulallows off, strung them together, and also donated them to Shaq, he’d be tripping over his recently added locks. That’s just how much mullet activity I’m talking around. It’s insane and sickening all at the very same time. Somehow a couple of of the members also controlled to survive this embarrassment and also continue on to play music in life. One man plays in the fairly famous Latin rock band, DeSol, and the various other plays in an Irish rock band also, The Havers. I also attempted to gain in contact with them for an interwatch, yet had actually no luck. In fact, I posted on the drummer, Mike Baldwin’s Irish bar-band’s Facebook page asking if I could please ask him a couple of inquiries and they deleted the comment. I guess he is embarrassed? Well, I think playing music for three seasons on a fairly successful present on Nickelodeon is much much less embarrassing than playing to 3 more-than-fairly-plastered alcoholics in a bar in Virginia, yet that’s simply me.

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(Nice earring.)

You desire to recognize exactly how to provide a book report on Romeo and also Juliet? You spit sick rhymes, obviously. The babsence girl and also some jock begin rapping about the story of Romeo and also Juliet. The black girl literally has no circulation at all. She’s the clumsiest MC I’ve ever heard. When a white bro through a mullet out raps you, just go kill yourself. Also, a book report is composed of more than just reciting the plot synopsis on the back of the book with not-so-clever before puns added in. F.

Then you have actually your social life. The crew show you the “dangers of being also cool” with ridiculous scenarios that no one would certainly ever before care about. Some chick sees a girl via vivid ribbons in her hair and also states, “Wow, cool! I desire that.” The babsence girl states, “I have the right to carry out that.” And of course the outcomes are damaging. More and also more girls come out of the exact same stall seconds after one another (lesbian orgy?) via cooler hair (i.e. even more ribbons, braids, moose, and colored dye) so they add all those styles to the mix and also the girl ends up looking like a finish idiot, not also different than exactly how she looked to start.

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There’s a painful scene in which the girls take a bunch of “plain white tees” and also make them “hip.” Making them cool is composed of the dumfinest and also the majority of obvious stuff possible. I have the right to tie-dye a shirt?! Oh man, I didn’t think it was possible to attract deindications on my shirt before this video taught me how! They also go as much as to reduced shapes right into potatoes, dip them in paint, then press them on the shirt. Oh the 80s, what couldn’t you do?

Remember just how I said this was a talk show? Well, ultimately a guest, Joe Humeres, comes in to teach skateboard tricks… That has nopoint to perform with enduring anything! It’s not also enjoyable to watch. He’s a good skateboarder but he just does typical tricks and then tries to teach the boy to execute them. The kid falls short miserably, of course.

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Next, the main girl wants to throw a party to spice up her social life, but she has actually nothing to wear! Oh no, I wish she would have eliminated herself over it. Then her room transforms right into some Wheel of Fortune-style collection, however through a wheel of apparel. She loses miserably, yet it gives her an idea on exactly how to rotate her own clothes into cool items, prefer “distressed jeans.” Ugh. She ends up taking also lengthy and also forgets to make the party food, luckily, Out of Order comes in to acquire points earlier in order. Beyond being amazing musicians, they’re stunning chefs, too! Stupid on display screen recipes come as much as teach you exactly how to make this food. If anyone ever paoffered their tape and also made any kind of of this stuff I’d be dumbfounded.

Last, is one of the the majority of embarrassing points I’ve ever had to sit through. You know once something is just so devastating that you actually feel negative for all the civilization involved? Well, feast your eyes on the dance lessons segment of the display. If you ever wanted to know exactly how to revolve the act of mowing the lawn (and also pulling the string to begin the mower) right into a dance move, then this is for you. You also learn some of George Michaels’ signature “attitude”-filled, hip-swaying moves. No one is fit to go clubbing without viewing this leskid first.

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While this certain episode is complete trash (through some mildly amusing cheese), I’d still like to watch a lot more of this display. Although not featured on this tape, the earliest brvarious other from Boy Meets World, Will Friedle, is frequently the hold of the present, which would certainly be fun to see. Also, somejust how they attracted some seriously good guest stars prefer William Shatner, Weird Al, and also Robert Englund as Freddy! That’d be good fun to watch, sadly, it’s damn close to impossible to discover anypoint from this display. If you have anything or find anypoint from this present let me know!

This is just one of the earliest Nickelodeon VHS releases, prior to they adopted the orange tape. Sadly, it functions not a solitary advertisement or bumper (which is one of my favorite things around the Nick tapes). If you find this cheap, absolutely pick it up, it’s a pretty rare tape and it’s a fun conversation piece to have actually in your arsenal despite being annoying shit-filled garbage.

See more: Why Intelligent People Can T Find Happiness Easily, 6 Reasons Why Smart People Cant Find Happiness

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This is New Kids on the Block perdeveloping on a various episode of the present. It’s one of the few clips easily accessible. I couldn’t find a solitary complete episode everywhere. If you know wbelow I deserve to acquire more of this present or have some taped, please let me know. One day once I obtain a cord to carry VHS to the computer system I’ll upload the entirety thing. Also, on an unassociated note, if anyone ever videotaped anything on Nickelodeon back in the day I would kill to obtain a copy of it. Please gain in call through me.